Our girls have a routine and checklist that they work through every night before bed. One of the things on the list is to get out the clothes that they are going to wear in the morning. It’s a good routine. The girls ask what the weather is going to be like and they plan accordingly. Sometimes they’re not sure about a particular match or color or something, but we’ve been at this long enough now that they pretty much take care of this themselves.
This morning there was a bit of a hitch. The third grader’s shorts were a bit, well, short. Nothing skimpy by any means–fine for bumming around the house or with friends, just not really appropriate for school. Lisa pointed this out to Emma on her way down the steps. Emma, however, was confused.
“Dad?”
They both looked to me for validation. Luckily, this time I had an answer.
“Emma, put your hands down at your sides, palms against your legs.”
She did so.
“Are your fingertips past the leg of your shorts?” I asked.
“Um . . . yes.” They were by maybe half an inch.
“Then your shorts are too short. Go change ‘em.” I explained that was the rule we had in the middle school, and if she would have worn those in 5th grade we would send her home to change.
“But . . .I’m in 3rd grade!”
“I know, but it’s the rule.”
This didn’t go over real well. She turned back upstairs. Anger, tears, confusion.
“It’s nothing bad, Emma, it’s just the rule!” I hollered up after her. I turned to my wife, “What is she crying about?”
“I’ll go talk to her.” And she followed her up the stairs.
When she came back down she had on a nice skirt. Just a little bit longer but, according to the rule, passable.
She was still a bit confused and upset so I thought I’d tell her a funny story about a girl we sent home just last week. Your typical All-American girl: smart and confident, tall and athletic, cute, blue eyes, blond hair, has lots of friends, gets good grades and wears her Christianity on her sleeve. This is the type of girl that, you know, is very used to not getting into trouble–or at least not getting caught. She’s a good kid, but make no mistake–she’s no angel.
As a general rule, I usually refrain from getting involved in clothing disputes related to girls and skin, and happily defer to one of the female staff members for this. Trust me it’s just easier this way.
Anyway, just before entering my class, the science teacher down the hall, sort of the matriarch around here, noticed this girls shorts might be a bit short. So she ran the test. They were–by about half an inch. Not much maybe, but still we enjoy “busting” the goody-goodies around here just as much (sometimes more) than the usual suspects. So we made her change.
And I had fun teasing her in class because, you know, like I said–she’s no angel.
“But Mr. Wondra!” she whined. “This is totally NOT FAIR. I HAVE FREAKISHLY LONG ARMS!!!”
I smiled, “Good one.”
“No, really, here.” She stood up and came toward me. Standing next to me, shoulder to shoulder, she raised her arm up. “Put up your arm,” she said.
I did, and she was right. I’d guess this girl is about 5 ft. 4 inches, or something like that. I’m about 6′2″. My fingers stretched out just past hers.
“Tough break.” I said. We still made her change her shorts.
“So, what do you think?” I asked Emma as we stood in the kitchen making sandwiches for lunch. “Do you have freakishly long arms?”
“I think I do.” She smiled.
Related Articles:
5 responses so far ↓
1 Welcome to The Belly of the Whale: Playground for the rich and successful // Jun 6, 2007 at 5:47 am
[…] RSS ← Short Shorts […]
2 A- Cube // Jun 18, 2007 at 7:52 pm
Papa C!!
I have a feeling that i know this girl!!! she is quite amazing i must add… miss you papa C … it was a goood year…. . just came to your website because girls were tellling me that you wrote a blog about the girl with “freakishly long arms” and i thought that i would check it out… good to know you buddy… have a good summer.
your favorite student in the world….. A- Cube
3 Ryan // Jul 1, 2007 at 3:48 am
Mr. W, this story has raised an interesting question not about clothing, but decisions and opinions in general that i thought might be good to answer if u manage to read this. why is it that adults, whos time on earth has allowed for significant cultivation of bias due to opinions and beliefs, always have their opinions and statements taken deathly seriously, and r to be seen as law by youth such as myself although their thinking could be flawed due to that very fact that they have such engrained beliefs, but teenagers and young men and women, such as myself, seem to always have our input immediately discarded, despite the fact that, having just gained the ability to comprehend at a more adult level, we have very little bias to act upon, as we have had less time to form opinions? I think its time someone answered that for me.
any reply would be much appreciated.
4 Waffles // Dec 22, 2007 at 9:45 am
I would answer that for you Ryan, but I have no clue what the hell you just said.
Great Article, as always!
~Waffles
5 Mudit // Apr 30, 2008 at 8:33 am
Might be too late a response for Ryan - but nevertheless:
and (c) everyone has vested interests which impede honest debates. After all, isn’t it just a bias that you are having to follow flawed laws?
- ask why it bothers you so much. I find it usually does because in some way it reduces my ego - i.e., my idea of myself, the ‘identity’ I’ve chosen to have.
(1) Valid point: that there’s a good likelihood of bias in those having spent a long time on earth
(2) Missing the point: that experience is more than just ‘bias’. We humans - you & I - all learn every day (whether we want/plan it or not). Bias could be a short-cut that we take by applying learning from one situation to another situation ‘inappropriately’ - or something we have decided to believe in because it makes ‘our life easier’. However, experience is more than this - and includes genuinely useful learning. Unfortunately we aren’t able to articulate it to others all the time - and may call it intuition or gut - or might not want to articulate it because we want to avoid another can of worms. (In this case, would you rather explain the concept of too-much-skin to a 3rd grader? or argue about sexuality - and the implications for everyone involved - with that older girl?)
So, worth trying to understand why something is being made the ‘law’ for you (though yes sometimes, law really is an ass).
(3) Missing the point: not everything is as it is in human society because it is absolutely the right thing or because it is ‘factually the best answer’. Many things are just ‘more practical’ - which is about judgment, which in turn is sometimes experiential learning, sometimes bias.
Part of the learning that takes us from young to adult is precisely this - developing a good judgment. And it’s tough because there are no mathematical models available. Yet.
(4) therefore: yes, it shouldn’t be ‘law’ in every case. In many cases, it’d be nice for the ‘experienced / biased ones’ to have the guts to debate with you.
However, (a) most times in life, even the simplest stuff will generate dramatically different opinions in all involved - and it might just not be worth you & I getting into a debate, (b) in most cases it is almost impossible to have a space in which to have a respectful debate. Not having an objective respectful debate creates unnecessary ‘baggage’ for the future. Experience tells ‘us’ it is easier to avoid it
Finally I’d say this - in every conflict with authority (of any kind) you have - and I’ve always had a problem with any authority
Surely there are better things in life than just to protect this arbit idea!?
Leave a Comment