How to kill a house wasp-like a ninja

October 14, 2007 — 72 Comments

great wasp picturePeriodically we’ll get a wasp in the house. You know how it is.

One moment, you’re snacking on toast with peanut butter and chocolate chips, and the next, all hell breaks loose because a wasp starts dive-bombing random targets around the room.

The toast? Fuggetaboutit. One eye’s on the wasp, the other, frantically scanning the room for potential weapons–a fly swatter, a magazine, a shoe, a flame-thrower–something.


An Inconvenient TruthFor the briefest of moments, you even consider that toxic bug spray in the closet. Then you spot it. Sitting on the coffee table, not three feet away, is Al Gore’s, An Inconvenient Truth. The weapon of choice for desperate wasp killers.


You grab it, crouch, and wait for the wasp to land. For a moment, it hovers near the blades of a ceiling fan. Then, as if in a in a drunken stupor, it bobs and weaves toward the wall. For what seems an eternity, it darts around a window. Maybe it dives at an armchair.

Adrenalin laced thoughts whiz through your skull.

Why can’t it just land and make it easy for me.

If it lands on the curtains, I wonder if I can still squish it between the book and the wall?

Do wasp guts stain?

Maybe I should take a swing at it in mid-air.

Maybe, though, I’d just piss it off.

If I pissed it off, would it attack–fly down the front of my shirt, sting me mercilessly until it finally crawled up my neck and into my ear?

I wonder how that teacher dude in Karate Kid picked off that fly with a pair of chopsticks.

I wish I was him right now.

Meanwhile the wasp, understanding this internal monlog completely, bounces nonchalantly against the ceiling, making its way back to the center of the room.

Suddenly it dives right at you, causing you to flail your arms and make panicky grunting noises.

The wasp, chuckling with satisfaction, glides back up to the ceiling fan, lands on one of the lights, turns, and gives you the finger.
Wasp on light

What are you going to do? Trash a perfectly good light fixture? Even if you did take a swing, the bastard’s protected by the other lights, fan blades, and curved nature of the glass around the bulb.

And now you begin to grasp the reality of the situation: You could be at this all night.

Curses. Bloody Red Barron.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. And today I make my revenge by revealing an ancient technique I learned while studying in the orient. The same one I used on that actual unsuspecting wasp in the picture above.

Warning: the following pictures are of a graphic and violent act perpetrated against a real wasp that actually flipped me the bird.

Follow these steps exactly–there is no room for error. Failure to do so could result in death by wasp sting to the inner ear.

  1. Quickly find a scissors.
  2. Sneak up behind the wasp.
  3. Using one fluid motion, thrust the scissors forward, snip, and slice the son-of-a-whore in two.

Usually all that’s left after that is to pick up the pieces. The only tricky part is getting close enough with your opened scissors before it takes flight. As risky as this seems, most wasps are so blinded by arrogance they never suspect any trouble. It’s not their experience that men, sneaking around light fixtures with toast crumbs on their face, are actually highly trained killing machines.

It’s not their experience that men, sneaking around light fixtures with toast crumbs on their face, are actually highly trained killing machines.

While I’ve never actually been stung doing this, you should know, while very slick, this technique is not completely foolproof.

Take tonight for instance.

After the wasp landed in the ceiling fan, I looked around for a scissors–but the only one I could find was one of those plastic- child-not-really-sharp-ones. Still, I didn’t think it would make a difference.

Maybe it didn’t. Maybe I just missed my mark. But what happened next wasn’t exactly by the book. Instead of cutting it in two, I somehow managed to only pinch its antennae between the tip of the scissor blades.

caught wasp

Don’t ask me how. It’s never happened before. In fact, I later called the office of Strange But Totally Cool Ways to Kill Dangerous Insects and they told me that the odds of this happening are actually like a bazillion to one.

Anyway, after having my daughter take a picture. I found another scissors in an old Swiss Army Knife and took care of business.

cut up waspSo, my friends, there you have it.

Domestic men of the world rejoice. For no longer are we at mercy of this dangerous menace. No longer will we piss ourselves when we hear that loathsome buzzing. Today, the playing field has been leveled–just remember to wipe the food off your face.

Chris Wondra


72 responses to How to kill a house wasp-like a ninja

  1. Hah! I found this particularly entertaining since wasps are always getting into my house! Two of my carnivorous plants, Cephalotus and Nepenthes, produce copious amounts of nectar which drives them NUTS! They chew holes in the screen to get to the plants. A few get eaten, but, most just drink the nectar, get drunk from it and fall over. Many more venture around the house. Usually I use this piece of plastic that once had a telescope lens in it to kill them. I used to be terrified of wasps, the sight of one would scare me, I would hide and get someone to kill it for me. After seeing them frequently drowned in the pitchers of my carnivorous plants and after I had to squish four, or even five in a row flying around my room, I decided to get some guts about it. Now it’s just a minor annoyance, they do seem a bit arrogant, which makes for an easy death. In fact, I killed one today! And three the day before, and my plants have killed dozens over the spring/summer. I find decapitating them to be the most effective, occasionally the nerves in their body might make for a sad, sort of awful humor as they try to fly, spinning in circles on your windowsill or wherever it was killed. Surprisingly, I haven’t been stung in nearly a year.

  2. Lordy Lordy! A man like you is HANDY to have around the home! Good job. Well done.

  3. Oh, GOOD LORD! THAT’S some funny stuff right there (not the least reason being that, usually, the only scissors *I* can find at any given moment are the little plastic kid scissors, too)! Thanks for this!

    Ah, Mrs. Chili,

    You see, you’ve just exposed yourself there–because like Sherlock Holmes, I have amazing powers of observation.

    Based on your statement above, I’m most certain that you currently have, or once had children. Or perhaps you currently have grandchildren. Or maybe it’s neighbor kids. It’s most certainly one of those. But there is still the outside possibility that you aren’t really a small community college professor at all, but a patient in an insane asylum posing as a teacher on the internet.

    In any case–thanks for dropping by!


  4. Wasps happen almost daily in our backyard. As a matter of fact, the most common four letter word in our backyard is WASP! Normally we don’t keep any scissors in the backyard, so when wasps happen , we WASP them. (Wisely And Smartly Perish them). Of course we have to do this with skills, otherwise the headline in the next day’s paper would be WASP!: Wasp Attacks Silly People!

    Hey Herman,

    You gotta have skills!

    I went to battle a couple of weekends ago. There seemed to be hundreds (well at least dozens) of them swarming the outside of a sun-warmed wall. They were flying around, then everyonce in awhile tackling each other. Sometimes they’d lock up and fall to the ground where I’d step on them and get a two for one. Other times they’d fall but separate before they hit the ground and fly off again. I wonder what they were doing–besides postponing our housepainting project.

    Talk to you later!



  5. Killing a wasp is all “An Inconvinient Truth” is good for. I hate Al Gore and I don’t believe in global warming. Everyone gets pissed at me when I say that, so I continue to do so. Al Gore was like, Clinton’s wingman, need I say more? I have a joke for you. Okay, What is the difference between Clinton and a carp? (Ponder it)
    One is a bottom feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish!
    (Laugh Wildly)
    I got a job at a coffee shop this summer and we had a wasp problem and no one would buy fly swatters so, I used my resources. I used a small hand held vacume cleaner and I had skills in wasp catching. Except Ashley got attacked by like 4 of them when she cleaned out the vacume, so the next day she brought in a fly swatter. How’s that for problem solving?

  6. I’m sure some people reading this think that you are joking about the wasp giving you the finger, but I know it’s true. And they often coordinate their attacks with other wasps, just to keep it interesting. I keep a fly swatter in every room of the house just for such occasions AND I can take one out during mid flight ;).

    Oh, for the record, a dead wasp can still sting so avoid their stingers at all costs!

    Hi Kathryn,

    Thanks for the visit and for commenting. You’re right, I wasn’t joking. They totally like to challenge you. My wife and I just did some outside painting on ladders and they would fly around, land, and watch you climb up the ladder until you were nose to nose with them. Then, soon as I raised the fly swatter, they’d be gone.

    I know about the stinger too. They remind me of the insect version of the terminator. If you don’t cut them in two with the scissors the right way, they’ll still walk around and buzz as they try to fly while their abdomen is laying nearby with the stinger going in and out, in and out.


    Thanks again!


    P.S. I noticed on your blog that you were interested in making some money. My post on how I make money with adsense on this blog might interest you. Just type in adsense into the google search box in the sidebare and choose to search only “” Hope that helps!

  7. Haha! I loved this story, it was very entertaining and I’m inspired to be this brave next time one of them flies into my house. Either that or let my dog eat it, she loves eating bugs! :)

  8. man u seriously know how to kill wasps the ninja way ^.^
    that wasp’s cousin was probably watching from the window
    p.s watch out he might bring the whole family over for revenge O.O
    so good luck ^^

  9. Dude, thats awesome. I am a ninja and I have never thought of that before. Ninjas are awesome. Pirates are cool too, but ninjas are better. I love ninjas.

  10. Why didn’t you just run to the closet and grab the bug spray? Or have someone else do it while you keep your eye on him?!

  11. that waz a pretty scary story i would have to say! i never thought killing a wasp was so violent

  12. wow mr wondra…that was a beautiful artical. i never knew you were a ninja…next time we have a fly in the room you better get your scisors. haha

  13. Oh my! I did this once. Wasp landed, and not knowing what else to do, I picked up a pair of scissors and snipped it two. Amazing how easy that was.

  14. You wrote this so long ago, and yet its still my favorite article ever. Madison and Skyler were cracking up as I read it to them. Classic.

    Love the new site, too!!! Think, Thank, Thunk.

    Thanks Jake

  15. hahah! I was laughing th ewhole way through! Bravo! I love it. I just battled some wasps on my porch, my boyfriend thinks i’m crazy now! But who cares! No we can relax and drink our wine in peace! Keep up the awesome work!

  16. hey, i got one of the electric tennis rackets, because im terrified of wasps, now when i see one i grab the racket and charge… thats usually it from there

  17. Actually i stumbled upon your site by accident while looking for ways to kill a wasp i have caught under a glass. what you have written is amazing i dont think ive laughed about something so everyday-ish like that ever before. thanks for the tip on how to kill this annoying little bugger!.

  18. But i dont want to make it angry!

  19. You are crazy hilarious chriswondra!

    Thanks Meg!

  20. kara and cassie. May 21, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    were ninjas but we havent seen your wasp.

  21. I just stumbled upon this old blog entry while I was looking for ways to kill wasps. They come into my job every day and terrorize me like the screaming baby that I am. I pass out from stings and I work alone for hours at a time, so if one of them outsmarts me I could be out cold for hours without medical assistance. What mean animals.

    This solution is so awesome that I am going to print it out and post it up at work. Hopefully my coworkers and I can triumph over our uninvited guests with the help of some designated *wasp owning* scissors. Thanks for the tip!

  22. A No Name Somebody That You’ve Never Met September 30, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    I by chance came accross your blog site and started reading random articles. I must admit that this site is full of spontaneity. This article specificly caught my attention. It is overly humorous and your extensive discription of thoughts, actions, visuals, ect. made it that much better to read.

    I wrote all of this to merely say, thanks for the comic relief on a melancholy Tuesday. It brought laughter and light to my day. Thanks.

    Dear Somebody,

    Thank you so much for those kind words. I’m glad you enjoyed your visit. Stop back again. Next time you won’t be able to say I’ve never met you because this counts.


  23. I currently have a wasp trapped in my bathroom. A few minutes ago a was answering natures call, when suddenly I heard that well known, but feared sound of a wasp hitting the light fixture. I looked up and there he was staring me down like a new play toy. I finished up and preppared to eliminate my new found foe. I was poised to strike, a shampoo bottle my weapon of choise, when I thought, “what happens if I miss? This wasp is going to tear me apart limb from limb.” So I shut his ass in there and consulted the internet for advise. I found this site and read your way of getting rid of the pest. It’s darring, I must admit, but something that I am willing to try. I am about too make my way to the bathroom, armed with my scissors. If you don’t hear from me… expect the wrost.

    Awesome! Sic ’em. Please let us know you are alright.


  24. So you’re a teacher, huh?

    I used to kill everything too, until highschool, when I realized that It’s not fair to sentence to death, only for invading private space and/or stalking/assault.

    I’m studying computer science, so I’ll provide you the algorithm I’m using to this day:

    – scare insect until it lands on flat surface
    – put a glass/jar over the insect
    – slide a piece of paper underneath
    – grab while holding paper
    – throw insect out the window with a sudden move
    – if it’s a flying insect, then quickly close window/door


  25. I’ve been visited by these unwelcome guests a lot recently. What I’ve been doing is offering them a tall drink of Glass Plus. It seems to render them incapable of flight and somewhat “dizzy”, at which point I offer them some more as they stumble around. Once they seem to be to a point where they need to call a cab, I introduce them to my vacuum cleaner.

  26. OMG!!! This made me fricken laugh my arse off!!! HAHAHA..Good stuff:)

  27. Today, when I got home, I went into the bathroom as usual…. all of a sudden I hear that annoying buzzing saound. I scream, but I am home alone. I am fighting this battle on my own today. damn it. So I decided to do some reseach. maybe I can spray it with a household liquid…no….damn it… Then I come across your article. It could work. I searched the house for the biggest scissors I could find. I take a shoe with me just incase I missed. I am armed and prepared. I am mentally preparing when my pregnant sister comes home. Being pregnant, she has to pee. “Oh no, I have to go!” She says. So she takes my shoe, and marches into the bathroom. BOOM…..squish…its knocked down, but its still fighting. She spots it stumbling around on the floor. STOMP! “It’s STILL MOVING!” I yell as she continueously stomps on the booger. Finally, when it stops moving enough to where I could grab it with a paper towel, I flush it down the toilet.

    That is the story of how my sister stole my thunder…..sad!

  28. Frank Tancredi April 25, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    lol i was looking hastily at this artical while a big-ass wasp was flying around and such. as i couldnt grab scissors fast enough before it knew what i was doing. so it swarmed in circles around my body. as a flailed and ran in huge circles around the kitchen i tried to grab the closest thing i could reach. it was some 70spf sunblock, i didn’t spray him but i hit the crap out of him right into a pile of laundry. which i mercilessly beat the cloths with my foot for about 6 minutes. after waiting for the beast to emerge in a blind fury, nothing happened and it was over…..for now. later as I’m still curious if its dead i start ripping the cloths apart and running away with every throw. as i picked up the last one the wasp, armed and ready was about to jump. iu threw it on the floor and stomped on it beating the f*** out of it until it was smeared all over the place. i finally took my victory laugh as i picked it up and threw it down the toilet. i had won the battle. as a great man once told me, “if you don’t think its dead beat the S*** out of it until you do”


  30. I fear wasps and would never ever ever try to catch one with scissors. God forbid that little bit of glue you were too lazy to wipe off screws you over at the crucial snipping point, stopping the scissors just short of piercing the ugly pest’s abnomen.

    PS: I hope A Scared Man’s all right…..

  31. love your page, needed a little humour tonight.
    my favorite way to assualt yellowjackets on my hummingbird feeder is to wait til the stick there little head in for a drink and snatch there back side with the neddlenose pliers of my leatherman every time, so far……………….

  32. A little girl June 25, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    He’s on my roof in the living room, and he won’t come down. I’m shut up in my bedroom on my day off and I can’t get the bastard down. Home alone and my parents don’t know where the damned fly swatter is, let’s see if he enjoys…MY .44 RAWR!

  33. Hahahaha oh wow this just made my day! This story was hilarious. There’s a wasp in my house right now and i’m home alone but i’m definately not brave enough to get close enough to cut it! I’d rather just hide out in my room all day. Good technique though!! 😉

  34. Finally found a use for the giant SAT prep test. Waited for about 45 minutes until the wasp landed on floor and dropped the overly large book. I guess that book had a higher calling.

    Cats are extremely daring when wasps are in the vicinity. This is amusing to watch, but completely useless in the ultimate goal of killing the wasp.

  35. Another scared man July 27, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    I felt as jubilant as John Connor triumphing against Skynet as I severed the stinger with a quick jab of my KitchenAid kitchen shears!

    Less impressive is that my lamp had already repeatedly stunned the minion of doom into a lying-on-the-back position at the bottom of the plastic bowl. Unfortunately it careened about the inside of my torch style lamp for another couple minutes prior to death. The stinger is still making the in-and-out in-and-out motions, unaware of the demise of its head and thorax. In attempting to enact mercy, I unfortunately pierced the head with my oh-so-spikey not-for-children shears. Crunch.

  36. Here’s some irony for you.

    I smoke in the house and to let the air circulate I leave the living room door open and have a curtain in front of it as a semi-block to the flies etc attracted to the living room lights.

    Anyway, these buggers keep flying in somehow, after running around like a mad man as you described : D I started to panic as it disappeared behind a light fitting that makes it almost impossible to reach around (like a curved glass plate on the wall), then it got into a tiny cavity in the wall and started to freak out about having a wasps nest inside my house. So, I googled, ended up here and at the exact moment I finished reading, the bugger was limping on the floor next to me. How the heck it got there and why it was like that I don’t know but I did the honorable thing and became judge, jury and executioner. Just thought I’d share the irony : D

  37. Argh!

    Whilst reading everyone elses posts it disappeared. I eventually found it again, neatly packaged it up in a pocket tissue like origami, slide it in between a rolled up news paper and squished it with my full body weight. Not a stylish but at least I know the jobs done! : )

  38. I’m a freshman in college and share a suite in a dorm with three other girls. Currently we are experiencing a little wasp problem of our own. We find about one a day, today there were two. The girls that I live with are babies when it comes to bugs. I frequently will get a text message during the day in all caps: WHERE ARE YOU?!?! THERE’S A HUGE WASP IN OUR ROOM AND WE NEED YOU TO KILL IT!! The wasps tend to find they’re way to the big florescent light in the middle of the celling so while they crowed together in the bathroom I find my self locked in combat with the wasp using a shoe as my weapon of choice. I usually have to put a step stool on top of one of the chairs and climb on up in order to smack the life out of the wasp. The whole scene is more then ridiculous. I got online to see if there was an easier way, a sort of bug bomb or herb out there that would ward of the little bastards and found your article. While your approach will probably not solve our problem I found it very entertaining. It sparked my interest and I looked around the whole site. I am very impressed, I think it is both interesting and witty, though I would not want to be a student in your class out of fear I may end up as one of your anecdotes. However, if you are as engaging in the class room as you are on the internet then I commend you. The world could use more teachers like that. In any case, thank you for the amusing little break in my hectic wasp filled life.

    And thank you, Steph, for sharing your wasp story and those kind words of encouragement.

  39. A Scared man no. 2 April 9, 2010 at 7:05 am

    Wow I read A scared man’s post and could not help feeling Deja vu. My story starts about 10 minutes ago when a huge bugger flew into my room, It continuely flew in and out until I decided to shut the window and trap it outside. The End….or so you would think, later I found nature calling and headed off to the bathroom, as I entered I saw the window slightly ajar, remembering my previous ordeal I went to shut it, I heard a buzz and about 2 cm in front of me was the wasp trapped inbetween the window and frame it would have provided the perfect kill however my mortal fear of wasps engulfed me and I fled, the wasp, I swear was the same one. Luckily we have a glass pane above the door which allowed me to to a bit of reconnaissance with the door shut. I found my fly swatter (which is rather marvelous as it shouts out things like Asta La Vista, baby – whenever you bring down your target). I am rather inexperienced with dealing with them as I’m only 15 and our suburb in London isn’t exactly infested with wasps. Seeking help I managed to find my way on here, so I thankyou I will now use scissors as my secondary weapon probably requires more expertise but the satisfacton of seeing the dismembered wasp has persuaded me to use it.
    Many thanks
    A Scared man no longer

  40. haha, thanks for this tip. I just had to use this in my kitchen. I googled how to get ride of a wasp in your house!

  41. Lol! I loved this! Humorous and sensible. and helpful.. Now I wish I wasn’t only 5′ and could reach the ceiling with my scissors because honestly I’m tired of being stung. :)

  42. EtherLectricPenguin June 13, 2010 at 2:28 am

    The most fun way to kill the little buggers off is with a flame thrower. The wasps biggest design flaw is its thin plastic like wings, all it takes is one quick blast from a deoderant can with a lighter held before it, less than a seconds worth. Providing the flame launches in the general direction of the winged invader, and generally within a foot’s distance, the yellow-black stripped flying viking will take a sudden nose dive, screeming its curses to the Norse Gods of Apocrita, as its fagile wings instantly melt.
    This Icarus inspired flash attack/defense will see the the blighter spinning around in a one inch radius on the floor as it tries to defeat the law of physics and fly with just its wing stubs, emitting an alarming (but you will learn to associate it with amusement and triumph) high pitch buzzing squeal of helpless defiance.

    It is now helpless and one may give it close inspection, and the arrogant little burglar can do nothing about it as it sees you laughing maniaically at it, just inches from its face. One may dispose of it as one sees fit, or just leave it to exhaust itsself and die a slow agonising death, giving it time to contemplate its miserable existance, no doubt reaching an epiphany and wishing it could have a second change and help out in a papper mache factory, donating its otherwise useless and troublesome life to more productive and less destructive means.

    Needless to say, the flame thrower technique should be given blasts of no more than half a second to prevent house fires and not be directed at your gas bottles, open petrol containers, plastic fabric nets, priceless Japanese paper models, etc….
    …And make sure one is pointing the damn nozzle in the correct diretion, the last thing one would want is to temporarliy blind oneself in the presence of a rampant wasp, irritated at your gall to hold a flame before it.

  43. EtherLectricPenguin June 13, 2010 at 2:39 am

    Directed mainly at ‘Steph’ : Considering you are a student, this should be occurring anyway, however, to discourage wasps from entering your dorm room…..smoke. i don’t meen burning your room, but rather smoke irritates wasps, but not in the arm waving “hah, I’ve got you now” fashion, but in the “sod this, I’m leaving” fashion.
    Josh sticks are you wasps deterring friend. At festivals, when sat around the field, and all the josh sticks had been sold out, bought either by over zealeous hippies or festival goers wanting to be able to drink from their can without having to waste some first, ensuring a wasp hadn’t flown in it to give them a surprise (the wasps version of ‘the Trojan horse’), lighting a cigarette and placing it into the ground, butt down, seems to suffice as enough smoke to deter the little flying bandits.

  44. Went to retrieve my scissors, only to find that they were inoperable. Had to use brute force to get the job done. Am rather proud of myself. Thank you for the courage I needed to render this wasp inoperable. muahahaha!!!! (sorry, sometimes I can’t stifle my evil laughter.)

  45. This is not helpful for people who are allergic to wasps! D: I always end up hoping and praying that the wasp I see on the bathroom mirror is actually a cockroach that will die when I spray that toxic insecticide everywhere. :/

  46. Okay…..just tries two minutes ago. I was shaking so badly I only got an antenna….but it slowed him down. The second time he just got squished in the scissors and didn’t die! I was so freaked out I threw the scissors and the wasp out off the balcony.

    Sounded so much simpler when you did it!

  47. I found your advice particularly amusing. However, those idiots just fly too fast and im always afraid of getting stung by them. One particular wasp is soooo persistant in its efforts to build a home in MY home. it has flown in and out for months and somehow its buddies joined it because this has happened for a few years now and wasps dont live that long, do they?

  48. Here I am at work and afraid to go home because of a wasp I spotted in my house last night. I’m searching for ways that I can kill it before I leave and I happen upon your article from 2 years ago. I never laughed out loud so hard and totally relating to every situation you described. Thanks for a great laugh and great advice!

  49. Haha very funny article. Can’t wait for you to post the wasp who fought back.

  50. Funny Story. All I did to get to this article was search in Google “Can a wasp survive without it’s abdomen” as I applied a very similar technique only instead of scissors I used tongs. Damn Wasp invaded my grill 4 times with it’s nest until now I finally killed the arrogant bastard. Well I guess this article answers my questions. Thanks Chris. Man 1, Wasp 0. Muhahahaha.

  51. lol your blog made me laugh! That’s one way of getting rid of a wasp.

  52. Michael Douglas July 14, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    I would love to know how I can get rid of these wasp’s that I have next door. they have about 5 nest’s & I tryed spraying them & got afew but was chased back in the trailer. now when I go out I have to take a fly swatter with me. I was stung once & it left a 2 inch bump on my neck. dam they hurt. I have yellow jacket’s, durt dobber’s & wasp’s. can anyone tell me what I can do. need help.

  53. man forget this im sooooooooooooooooooooooo scared and its still in the bathroom with door closed so its going to stay and die eventually .. tear* no one will come to my rescue…

  54. lol your blog made me laugh! That’s one way of getting rid of a wasp.

  55. I just found three wasps chilling on our bedroom ceiling fan. we have the door to the backyard open hoping they’ll fly away but they’ve been their for hours nibbling on something. I think I’ll ask my hubby to try the tong method but I don’t want him falling off the ladder!

  56. charger115 ( JT ) May 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

    how do i get it off the roof of my house ( inside ) not of the fan just siting upside down going hahahahahaahaha ha … ha ( finger ) and then waits a hour or so and flys to a new un reachable spot

  57. charger115 ( JT ) May 10, 2012 at 10:24 am

    ps i would like a easy way thats free and fast ( that i can be as far away as i can like a stell plate on a pole or some thing my body freezzs up when i get like 4 feet from them so take that for scared this is one them really really fast skinny ones with yellow dots on there legs ( not yellow jackets )

  58. charger115 ( JT ) May 10, 2012 at 10:26 am

    O well last post was feb its may hum might take a while till i geta post back huh will i got time( my dogs dont they got to go outside but its in the way ( im stop spamings as they call it )

  59. charger115 ( JT ) May 10, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    yes yes and yes

  60. I’m currently have a single wasp problem; it keeps hiding in my 2nd flr AC from the outside. I can’t really use your method, however, this article is very entertaining! Love the writing style!

  61. insectiphobeguy June 29, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    I also have been at mercy of these beings. I found it easier to tie one up in a handkercheif and drown the wasp to death. It’s slower, more risky and possibly the worst thing to do. but only one has come into my house three times. First two times my mom (yes I live with my mom, but I am only 13) let it free, but I know that one wasp is too bg of a coward to come in day. so in the dead of night one snuck into my sister’s room and I sent the wasp where it belongs!!!

  62. insectiphobeguy June 29, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    I have like 3 cats and none of them bother with it. BAH!!! What the heck!
    That’s one of the reason we have them…. pest control!

  63. insectiphobeguy June 29, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    I met him before at that place where people do things for stuff. I’m sorry I’m just bored, but I have met him… wait which “Karate Kid” ‘movie? The old one because that one is classic for that kick that hit the blonde guy in the face, OH MAN!!! FOR ANY WHOSE SEEN THE FIRST ONE WATCH “KARATE KID PART 2”
    It shows Mr. Miyagi’s (I hope that’s right) home!

  64. Or Mr. Chili there is the possiblity of keeping those scissors from your youthly days. Now that is another possiblity.So ha!

  65. This is hilarious. Thank you.

  66. Damn it. One is in my house right now. My boyfriend comes home in two hours. I’ve locked myself in the bathroom. My phone has 78% power for games. The only ninja I know is out camping. I need liquid courage, but… It’s out there…with the wasp… :(

  67. I think it's very good

  68. So I was letting out my dogs just a bit ago, and then I heard a strange buzzing noise. I looked on our high up ceiling, and saw a wasp. I left my dogs outside, ran out of the room, and shut the door. I then proceeded to put on 5 pairs of jeans, 7 long sleeve shirts, 4 pairs of socks, some boots, 3 pairs of gloves, a balaclava (ski mask), 2 hoods from hoodies, an Ushanka (eskimo hat), a heavy winter coat, and some heavy duty safety goggles. I read through this site, and then, like a giant samurai, charged through the room from the back door (the door I let my dogs out of), wielding a long pair of scissors and a can of Axe spray, with two fly swatters attached to my hips. The demonic creature dove at my like a vulture onto a dead animal. I did a ninja roll across the room, jumped up, blindly sprayed the Axe in the direction I thought my enemy was, and slashed my scissors everywhere around me. After my rage was over, I looked all around the room, cautiously, and did not see the beast anywhere. This frightened me. I carefully looked in all directions, and no sign of the buzzing hellspawn showed. That’s when I spotted it. It was laying by the door, twitching. I saw my creation; I had poisoned it with the deodorant spray, cut it’s wings off with the scissors, and smacked it all the way across the room with the fly swatter. I sprayed it down for a good five seconds with Axe, and it stopped moving. For the most part. The abdomen sac was wiggling like a worm so I did the honor of cutting that thin like that connects it to the rest of the body. It kept squirming. I sprayed it with more axe. It started… glowing red…? Almost like a lightning bug, but less luminous, and red instead of yellow. So I stepped on it. I AM VICTORIOUS!!!!! NO BEAST CAN CONQUER ME!!! Then I had to throw off all of my clothes before I overheated. Wearing that many layers in the middle of summer is not a good idea. That’s my story! ^_^

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. » How to kill a house-wasp without breaking anything - October 14, 2007

    […] Christopher Wondra wrote a fantastic post today on “How to kill a house-wasp without breaking anything”Here’s ONLY a quick extractA dangerous bug starts totally waging war on you–buzzing, hovering, and maniacally dive bombing around the living room. The toast gets forgotten. You’ve got one eye on the wasp, the other frantically scans the room for potential … […]

  2. Raising A Healthy Family » Carnival of Family Life Fall Festival - October 22, 2007

    […] Wondra presents How to kill a house-wasp without breaking anything posted at Chris Wondra . […]

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