Often lately I’ve been reflecting upon my childhood.
Not so much in the psychoanalytical sense of searching for traumatic events or emotional scars or anything like that. But because, as I remember it, I used to have a lot more fun.
Today, as an adult, I worry too damn much. And I think too damn much. And I brood and I plan and I figure and I stew and tense and clam up. I clench my jaw and quint my eyes and forget to breath for days at a time.
And it’s starting to suck
me
dry.
Now all this might actually be fine and dandy, except I know I wasn’t always like this.
There was a time, I am certain, when I was filled with fearless wonder and excitement, and the world crackled with electric potential.
I’m certain because there’s this long lost tape my aunt found a couple of years ago. I’m not sure how old I was–maybe seven or eight. I don’t remember any of it, but one evening somebody had a tape recorder, and I had a story to tell, and a song to sing, and I just went on
and on
and on.
I was so excited about . . .nothing. It was nothing. Somebody got stuck in the snow and a dog got lost in the dark. A hunt ensued. Flashlights were involved. I was happy to sing songs from the spring music program–with GUSTO.
I wasn’t doing it for the tape recorder. I don’t think I was hamming it up. It didn’t sound like I even knew I was being recorded. It was just . . .
me
. . . being me.
People hearing it today, who didn’t know me then, don’t believe it. I don’t blame them. I don’t believe it. Adults who do remember me as a child are shocked to confront the change that crept in so imperceptibly over the years–and have to ask, almost in hushed tones,
“Where did that kid go?”
Quite frankly, I have no idea. It is, as my 9-year-old daughter would say, “Totally Freaky!”
But I do know one thing.
I want to find him again.
I could use a little of that kid’s fearless passion and boundless excitement. I could use some of that fun.
So anyway, like I said, I’ve been thinking about my childhood lately and badaboom–I run across this great hypnosis podcast by Michael White (hypnotist extraordinaire) at Know More Trances about finding your childlike brain again.
Perfect.
Now, by no means am I qualified to review hypnotic techniques or imagery. So I can’t really vouch for its effectiveness (I don’t think it hypnotized me), but it was a hell of a lot of fun to listen to. So if you’ve got eight and a half minutes, dim the lights, close your eyes and listen in. If nothing else, it should produce a grin, if not a chuckle.
Oh, the Jedi artwork? Somehow, a couple of years ago a rumor got started with the students that I am secretly a Jedi Master.
I do absolutely nothing to discourage that rumor.
And this being a post about mystical multiple personality energy forces and Jedi mind tricks, I thought, what the heck–where else am I going to post them?
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8 responses so far ↓
1 Mrs. Chili // Jan 3, 2008 at 6:42 am
I wouldn’t do anything to discourage the rumors, too. Jedis can do mind tricks….
I sometimes wonder if it isn’t counterintuitive to go LOOKING for the childlike brain. That, to me, almost feels like scheduling spontaneity, you know? Maybe it’s less a matter of seeking it out than it is to invite it in? I don’t know - I’m just thinking on your page…
Hi Mrs Chili,
The rumors: In the end it seems all teachers become caricatures in the kids eyes anyway. I’d rather be a Jedi than a Spongebob squarepants.
Think on my page all you like Mrs. Chili. A better thinker, I could not ask for. Counterintuitive huh?
BTW–Now, every time I find a writing mistake (grammar, usage, what have you), I cringe and hope you haven’t read it yet.
In any case, thanks again for stopping and thinking.
Chris
2 Lyrical Fool // Jan 3, 2008 at 8:27 am
Chris,
Read http://chriswondra.com/2007/12/31/student-work-now-thats-creative-writing/ again. (The tree entry is where I’m headed).
“It’s fun to be me cause I have to be me so I make it a lot of fun in the sun la la la.”
I think all you need to know about returning to that child-like enthusiasm MIGHT be learned from your students.
LC,
Hah! Good one!
The answers I seek may be closer than I ever imagined.
Thanks LC. Thanks.
CW
3 Darren // Jan 3, 2008 at 9:07 am
Chris,
Once again, one of your posts seems to inspire me at exactly the time I need inspiration. Try not to fret so much, my friend. You’re doing great! No need for you to believe what I’m saying, just try to believe that I believe what I’m saying.
Heh, heh,
What you just said sounded an awful lot like:
“Do not try and bend the spoon. That is impossible. Instead . . .only try to realize the truth.”
You know the rest.
Thanks again for stopping by Darren.
Chris
4 B // Jan 4, 2008 at 11:41 am
I found my child-like brain just this morning… I woke up, scratched it, then sat down on it to watch CNN.
Are you sure that was your brain? I only ask because I’ve heard a good hiding place for things like this are black knitting needle cases. Nobody ever looks in them, especially when they are sitting in the back of a HS/MS media center.
Feeling a bit frisky this morning, aren’t you B?
5 Sam S. // Jan 6, 2008 at 5:11 pm
I don’t post here anymore but when I saw the Jedi Master Wondra pictures I HAD to comment. It’s true, I believe it. Who is your padawan?
6 Alora // Jan 8, 2008 at 11:51 am
You a Jedi Master i don’t think so well toodles
7 Secret admirrer // Jan 8, 2008 at 11:53 am
Hey there wondra i thought that you blog was the most wonderful thing that i have ever read i loved it almost as much as i love you well gotta go
Secret Admirrer
8 Ms. C // Jan 16, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Haha your posts amuse me, and by the way i find them very helpful. Especially because they make me laugh, which is one of the most helpful things you can do in the world.
so i just say thanks. Thank you :).
ooh, and have you ever read dean koontz? if you don’t you should…. to be honest your posts remind a bit of koontz’s main character in Odd Thomas, which is both a good book and wonderful example of keeping optimism in the toughest of times and roughest parts of the world.
cheers!
Wow.
Thanks Ms. C. That was so kind of you. And I have read Koontz buy the way. I really enjoy his style of writing–though I’m not familiar with Odd Thomas at all. I’ll have to look that one up.
Thanks again!
Chris
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