I collected this about a year ago as part of a disciplinary plan from a student who cut a healthy lock of hair from a girls head. I had posted it then, but some of his classmates alerted him to the posting and made a big stink out of it. So I post it again here today after some time has passed. Instead of automatically giving detentions, I often have students attempt to defend themselves in writing. It’s good practice for organizing ideas in an effort to persuade.
So here you go:
I do not think I deserve a detention because I only meant to get a small piece of hair that wasn’t noticeable to the human eye. Since I wasn’t really paying attention at what I was going for, I ended up getting a bigger chunk of hair.
When R. freaked out on me, I forgot about saying I was sorry because when someone says, “I’m going to kill you!” I throw that “sorry” out the window of regret and sorryness, and enter my realm of retaliation and I don’t say sorry after I do.
But in the real world, “I’m going to kill you . . .” is taken as a threat, no matter who says it. But what I did was uncalled for and stupid and I do regret it but I don’t like to hear, “I’m going to kill you!” from someone.
So when it is lunch-time I will tell R. that I am sorry for what I did. Now I know what I did to R’s hair affect her life in some way, shape, or form, but she has to know I didn’t try to cut that much from her hair, and I was just kidding around with her.
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3 responses so far ↓
1 Mrs. Chili // Jan 8, 2009 at 1:19 pm
This gets right to me, especially since I have an aspiring teenager in 11-year-old Punkin’ Pie. There are a lot of things that kids do that they don’t fully comprehend the consequences of - if it’s not a big deal to them, well, then it shouldn’t be a big deal to ANYONE. Empathy is a difficult thing to encourage, but that’s where I always start.
Thanks Mrs. Chili,
I think you hit the nail on the head with your comment on empathy. It’s one of the toughest of the 6 facets of understanding to get across to kids at this level of development–and to look at some adults, it seems some never get it. Yet, if we are to evolve, empathy is the key.
Great observation. Thanks for that.
Chris
2 Mrs. Chili // Jan 8, 2009 at 1:19 pm
…maybe, in cases like this, “an eye for an eye” IS an appropriate consequence for behavior?
3 Mark // Jan 9, 2009 at 5:56 am
Chris,
It has been a long time. Hope you had a great holiday season. Interesting letter, this person does not take full responsibility for what was done or the subsequent actions. Thanks for sharing. I do agree this is a productive exercise.
Hi Mark!
It’s great to know that connections made in the past are still hanging on! Holidays were good on my end. Hope all is well with you as well. Great to hear from you again.
Chris
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