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Wanted: new overly simplistic optimism cliche

Me: Come at me bro.
Life: Here. Take these.
Me: What . . . lemons? Pfft. Whatever . . . BAM!! LEMONADE!! HA HA!
Life: Oh, uh . . . did not see that coming. Well played.
Me: That’s right. Ooooh . . . scary lemons.  You just got owned, bitch. C’mon. That the best you got?
Life: Hmmm . . . hang on a minute. Be right back.

(later. . . )

Me: You again? Fine. Come at me bro.
Life: Here. Take these.
Me: (opening bag) What do we have h . . . wait. What the!?!? Dude!?!?!
Life: Well?
Me: . . . What the hell!?!?!?
Life: Lemmings! Betcha didn’t see that coming did you.
Me: . . . (grimace)
Life: BAM. . . Suckah.

Summer . . .

“Summer, after all, is a time when wonderful things can happen to quiet people. For those few months, you’re not required to be who everyone thinks you are, and that cut-grass smell in the air and the chance to dive into the deep end of a pool give you a courage you don’t have the rest of the year. You can be grateful and easy, with no eyes on you, and no past. Summer just opens the door and lets you out.”
Deb Caletti

And so it’s come to this . . .

“I think it’s like a lot of things about getting older — you have absolutely no imagination that this is actually going to happen to you. You think for quite a while you’re going to be the only person who doesn’t need reading glasses, or the only person who doesn’t go through menopause … and in the end, the only person who isn’t going to die. And then you suddenly are faced with whichever of those things it is, and you can’t believe how unimaginative you have been about what it actually consists of.”
— Nora Ephron on NPR.